Being the Beloved:
stories of ongoing transformation in daily life
By Katrina Obata, CFDM Executive Director
It was time for me to move from my quiet morning time into the rest of my day. I didn’t want to; but there were things to do, and it was time. I noticed myself trying to muster up the energy to move. Normally I would do just that - use my will to summon up the energy to get about my day. As I lingered in my chair the phrase, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” came to mind.
After being in God’s gentle presence, hearing “pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” just didn’t fit. I knew this advice was coming from me, not from God. But I wasn’t sure how to move forward. It wasn’t a normal day; I needed more energy than usual. In fact, the last few weeks have been anything but normal. I would describe this time as liminal. Life has taken an unexpected turn and the fragility of life has been vulnerably exposed. Things aren’t normal. And now this? Pulling myself up by my bootstraps didn’t feel like it would work, and really, I didn’t even want it to.
Turning to God, I wondered - what then should I do?
My heart heard, “No boots – barefoot.”
I understood immediately. This was an invitation to not pull myself up by my bootstraps. I didn’t need to muster up the energy for my daily activities. I could walk gently, connected to the Ground of my being, and honor the holy ground of my life. It was an invitation to be gentle not just in my actions, but in the way I treated myself too – to be kind and compassionate toward myself, and not force myself to act or feel differently.
I recently found this prayer I wrote tucked away…
When your branch is bare - abide in Me.
Abide in Me – you are being sustained, strengthened, prepared to bare (visible) fruit, in My perfect time. For now, rest in Me, abide in Me. Let all you do, all you say, come from the place where we meet. I in you, and you in Me.
“Shoulds” and “pull yourself up” sound especially harsh in liminal space. I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful to see afresh how this mode of operating does not serve me. This advice from my internal, pushy taskmaster, meant to help me move out of inertia, isn’t helpful for tending my soul, or for tending the emotions I’m carrying. Instead, could I walk barefoot and surrender into letting God’s Spirit move my inertia?
I’m grateful for the way God doesn’t waste anything. The way God meets me in the midst of what’s happening and invites me to walk in a new way. I’d like to live into walking barefoot no matter what the season – liminal or “normal.” (Is normal really a thing? Lol. I don’t think it is).
As I pondered how to live into walking barefoot - how will I make this happen? how will this come to be? - I was reminded of Mary. When she said her ‘yes’ to God, she too asked – how will this be? The response: “nothing is impossible with God.”
God gives us invitations to greater surrender and freedom in Him, and our part (if we choose to accept the invitation) is to trust God to do the work. God makes transformation happen, not my will or my effort. I just get to accept: “no boots, barefoot,” and say, “be it unto me as you have said.”
Barefoot Photo: kateryna-hliznitsova-XDh4BBxL7JY-unsplash
Boots Photo: kwan-fung-dwRaUvgh3mU-unsplash
Katrina Obata is CFDM-NW’s Executive Director and a spiritual director. She enjoys being creative with collage journals, watercolor, drawing, jewelry making, Gell printing. She also loves to be outside walking, gardening, and rock hounding. A native of the Adirondack Mountain area of NY state, Katrina has made the PNW her home since 1994. She is a mom to an adult son via foster adoption, and currently lives in Bend, OR with her husband, and their dog Meeka.
What books, media, activities are nurturing your heart, soul, mind, strength in this season as we are loving God and our neighbor as ourselves? Post in the comments below or hop on over to our Facebook page and share with one another.